


Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

by BookWyrm07



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Crack, Full Moon, M/M, Truth or Dare, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookWyrm07/pseuds/BookWyrm07
Summary: It's the full moon and Friday the 13th, so the puppy pack have a party, but when the movies get boring the game starts
Relationships: Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Nolan/Brett Talbot
Comments: 4
Kudos: 136





	Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by a list of rules put out by Obvious Plant. The list is included in the fic.

Mason stared at the "groceries" his roommates piled on the table. He could see several cases of beer as well bottles of Jose and Jack. The "food" could only be described as junk, poptarts, frozen pizza, chicken wings, five different kinds of chips and Twinkies. He felt a wave of relief when he saw a produce bag, but it was only limes to go with the tequila.

"That's a lot of alcohol considering four of our six can't get drunk," he said. 

Brett smiled at him and held up a small baggie of crushed dried leaves. "Special mix of wolfsbane, mistletoe and a couple other herbs. One of my old packmates showed me. One dose and we can get as shitfaced as we want."

The human looked nervous. "Is it really a good idea for werewolves to get drunk on a full moon?"

Corey set down another bag of snacks and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's stomach. "It's going to be awesome, Friday the 13th, on a full moon. We have to celebrate. I can't wait to see what kind of drunk Liam is. I bet he's the 'I love you, man' and cry kind."

Brett laughed. "I'll take pictures if he is."

\---

The coffee table was covered in junk food. Beer cans in varying levels of fullness littered the room. On the counter leading into the kitchen sat the open cases of beer, liquor bottles and shot glasses. On the TV a medical examiner poked at the brain of an in dead serial killer while taking into a hand held tape recorder.

Mason and Corey cuddled together on one end of the couch. Brett sat at the other end with Nolan in his lap. Liam reclined in the giant bean bag chair. Theo laid over his lap. 

"This movie is boring." Theo batted at the string of Liam's hoodie. He didn't look at the screen.

"Are you sure you're a coyote-wolf, and not part kitty? You're purring," Liam mumbled.

"He's right about the movie. Who even picked Jason Goes to Hell?" Corey looked around ready to throw popcorn at the guilty party.

Brett felt Nolan shrink down in his lap and smelled the sharp scent of fear. Not wanting to see his boyfriend ridiculed by his pack or get caught in the popcorn crossfire, he changed the subject. "Theo, truth or dare?"

Theo stretched, lazy and cat-like. "Is that even a question? Dare."

The tall werewolf answered immediately. "I dare you to throw one of those hotdogs on the next neighbor to walk below our balcony."

Theo looked at his plate of forgotten weiners, all fully loaded with ketchup, mustard, onions and relish. "Sure." He rolled out of Liam's lap and went to the balcony, weapon in hand. Their apartment was over a busy walkway and being just after six in the evening people were coming home from work. He didn't have to wait long. He yelled, "Order up!" then threw the hot dog directly at the head of their neighbor. A long string of loud curses followed. Theo walked back inside with a smile on his face.

Brett laughed. Theo others looked stunned, then also fell to laughter. "Why did you yell that?" Mason wondered aloud.

Theo rolled his eyes. "It would have been rude not to give some kind of warning." That sent a new wave of laughter through the pack. When the laughing quieted he asked, "Corey, truth or dare?"

"Truth!" His shout made Mason jump. Corey apologized with a kiss to his cheek.

"What is the most embarrassing thing you ever did to impress a guy?"

Corey's face turned red. "You guys remember that Swiss exchange student freshman year, Jan?" He said it yawn. Mason and Liam nodded. To everyone else he said, "he was gorgeous and a senior. Anyway in an attempt to get his attention I took yodeling lessons. He was not impressed."

"Bull shit." Theo crossed his arms. "You didn't learn to yodel."

Corey sat up straight, cleared his throat and yodeled at an ear splitting volume. Dogs barked. Neighbors pounded on the walls. Theo clapped. Corey took a small bow. "Liam, truth or Dare?"

The beta shook his head trying to clear the ringing from his ears. "Truth, but you won't trick me into a bonus dare like Theo did you."

Corey giggled. "Yeah, he did. Okay… who gives a better blowjob, Hayden or Theo?"

Liam thought for a moment. "I can't answer that." Theo's eyes narrowed and he growled low. "Not like that! Hayden never went down. She said it was gross and not something she wanted to put in her mouth, but I can tell you that Theo is way better with his hands than her." 

Theo looked satisfied. They curled together back in the bean bag. "Nolan, truth or dare?"

The freckled young man had his face buried in his boyfriend's neck. After a moment when he made no move to answer the question Brett pushed his head away. "Hey," he whined, then noticed everyone looking at him. "Oh. My turn? Dare."

Liam tapped his chin a couple of times then said, "You know that one really crazy squirrel?" 

"The red one with no fear that looks like he wants to attack or demand pets? Eric The Red? General McSquizzy?"

Liam nodded. "I dare you to feed him nachos, by hand, right now."

Nolan's eyes widened. He looked around from one pack member to another, but they just looked back. "What if he's rabid and bites me?" 

"He isn't rabbid he doesn't smell sick, just crazy. Do the dare or be forever mocked for being a chicken shit coward." Theo passed out another round of Jack shots.

The five young men stood on the balcony, all with drinks in their hands and watched as Nolan half stumbled around the courtyard holding out a cheese goo cover chip while calling the squirrel. Eventually Brett pointed at a tree. "He's up there, babe."

As Nolan climbed the tree Liam pointed at the big red squirrel. His tail stuck out, poofed. He chittered aggressively and bounced. In a bad Scottish accent Liam said, "This is McSquizzy's tree! Touch one needle and I'll give you such a doin'!"

The five men erupted into laughter. When they looked back Nolan was scooting out onto McSquizzy's branch. He held out the chip. "Here Mr. McSquizzy, yummy nachos. Num num num." 

The squirrel chittered more. Liam offered another translation. "Come any closer and I'll kick your freckled round bahookie!" 

Nolan scooted a little closer. McSquizzy threw a pinecone, hitting Nolan in the head. The pack exploded in another round of laughter. Nolan fell off the branch. He caught himself on the railing of a nearby balcony, climbed up and yelled "I am Spider-Man!" 

The sliding door opened and a small elderly woman came out. She yelled in Spanish and hit him repeatedly about the head and shoulders with her shoe. Nolan used his arms to protect his head. "This is no way to treat your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!" Still being hit he climbed over the rail and lowered himself down to the balcony below. His feet touched the rail then he fell into the bushes.

\---

As the night went on confessions were made. Brett admitted to at one time having a crush on Liam, Theo to losing his virginity at fourteen and Liam to over feeding and therefore accidentally killing his second grade class pet, Nemo the Goldfish. Mason refused to answer a question about the weirdest thing he'd put in his butt and had to wear a luchador mask and challenge a neighbor to wrestle in the laundry room. The neighbor was not receptive. 

Corey wore the same luchador mask and tried to trick or treat, but only got doors slammed in his face. Liam called Brett a shallow body shaming jerk when he dared Liam him to change the I in fitness to an A so that the sign over their resident gym read "FATNESS CENTER", but he still did it. Brett had his own encounter with Nolan's angry shoe swinging abuela. He waved one of Corey's old Yu-Gi-Oh cards at her and threatened to send her to the Shadow realm. She hit him with her shoe and chased him to the stairs to their apartment. 

Mason tried to overrule Corey's dare to Theo to pay rent early by leaving the rent in a bear trap, but Theo explained that his bear trap had no spring, so was completely harmless. Mason backed down and Theo wrote the check to "YOU GREEDY MOTHERFUCKERS."

They stopped playing for a couple of hours and enjoyed their movies. A large man in a hockey mask killing naked and nearly teenagers in the woods. All the while they drank enough to stay drunk but not enough to get sick. Shortly after they started Jason X. The game picked back up. That was how the entire pack ended up on the roof. 

Theo pulled the cable tighter around the chimney. He made sure he there was no slack before securing it with a strong metal clamp. "Okay, I think it's ready," he said. There was no response. He looked over to see Brett and Liam staring eyes glowing at the full moon. Nolan was staring at Brett with concern. Corey seemed to be playing a round of "I'm not touching you" with his finger a millimeter from Liam's eye ball. 

"Hey!" He said louder. Liam and Brett roared. Nolan jumped. Corey yodelled.

When the noise settled Liam smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Is it ready?"

Theo nodded, picked up his towel and with a running start slid down the zipline off the roof of their neighbors' building, down to their balcony, through their sliding glass door and landed on the pillows Mason had piled in front of the fridge where the other side of the cable was attached. He laughed. Brett came through a moment later. Nolan clung to his back like a freckled koala. Last came Liam. He landed in the pillows. Theo could hear his heart racing. 

They all fell asleep in the living room while another slasher flick played on the TV.

\---

There was a knock on the door early Monday afternoon. Liam answered it to find only a note taped to the door and the fleeting scent of their pissed off complex manager. He took the note. It read:

Due to the actions of specific tenants we have been forced to update our community rules. Please find the new rules listed below: 

No trash outside your door.  
No loud music after 10pm.  
No yodeling at any time.  
Do not feed the squirrels nachos.  
Do not change the sign on the fitness center to read fatness center.  
Do not pull out Yu-Gi-Oh cards and threaten to send other residents to the shadow realm.  
Do not climb other people's balconies and drunkenly yell "I AM SPIDERMAN!"  
NO ZIPLINES  
Do not place rent checks in a bear trap outside the rental office.  
Do not make out rent checks to "YOU GREEDY MOTHERFUCKERS"  
Do not yell at the moon  
Do not enter the laundry room in a luchador mask and attempt to wrestle other residents.  
No trick or treating unless you are a kid AND it Halloween  
Do not yell "Order Up!" and throw hot dogs at people walking by your window.  
Do not attach a basketball hoop above other residents' doors, knock and then "attempt to dunk on them" when they answer.

Moving forward, failure to abide by these rules will result in eviction.

"What the hell?" Liam yelled. He waved the paper around. "We weren't even playing music, and we never leave our trash by our door! Why are they blaming us?"

Theo looked over the paper. "You're upset by the mundane shit, but It isn't like we tried to 'dunk on anyone' granted, that sounds like it could have been a dare from this weekend."

"Actually," Nolan said tentatively, "Brett and I wanted revenge on they evil old lady with the attack shoe, so we kinda did the did the dunk thing"

"And how did that turn out?" Theo eyed the former hunter. 

Nolan looked away. "She chased us off with her shoe."


End file.
